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Success Harmony Newsletter
"FLAWS TO LOVE"
As anyone who has ever visited my home at dinner time knows, my dog has
an incredibly embarrassing habit. One that has made my face red numerous
times, one that I have tried to stop with zero success, one that has made
visitors contort their face with a sarcastic "where did she pick
THAT up?" question. It is the same habit that brought me to tears
recently after I saw it again. This time was just a few days after a surgery
which removed a grapefruit-sized lump of cancer and tissue from an old
My female Dalmatian is about 5 months shy of turning 14 years old. This
is a pretty good feat for a dog her size. As she has been growing older,
there are a few things she doesn't like to do as much. The growing lump
didn't help either. Although her spirits and her appetite have remained
the same, her body has definitely slowed her down. I have slowly come
to accept it and have forgotten about some of the things she has liked
to do over the years. Like the awful pillow-humping thing.
I want to make it perfectly clear that I have no idea where she picked
this up. Female, well behaved dogs are not supposed to do this. I do know
that it became a nightly ritual for me to fight her off from trying to
make passionate love to a pillow on my couch. Eating her dinner turned
her on. Going for a walk turned her on. Going for a walk, returning with
dirty paws, and then eating was the sure-fire combination for a 5-minute
pillow encounter. The more important a visitor came to my home, the more
passionately she liked to show off. Maybe she heard that she could earn
a few dog bones by performing this in some low budget Internet movie.
When I brought her home from her surgery, she had a six-long incision
on her neck and slept for the next 24 hours. When I heard that, aside
from the injury-related tissue, there was cancer in the removed lump,
I cursed the whole mortality thing. As I watched life come back into her
eyes and start playing with her toys, I figured she might not be finished
off yet. I took her for a short walk and gave her dinner, having long
forgotten about what that combination used to mean. Having finished her
dinner, she ran straight to the couch and attacked the pillow. I laughed
and cried all at the same time. How ecstatic was I to see this embarrassing
habit all over again. How much would I give to be able to see it daily
for the next 10, 20, 30 years
Do you have people around you - a spouse, a child, a parent, a coworker,
a boss, maybe? - a person you care about but whose one or two bad habits
drive you up the wall? What do you focus on more? Doing your best to "fix"
them, or looking beyond the flaws to the best that person has to offer?
When you think of your teenager, what do you think of? The loud incomprehensible
music they play? The strange body piercing ornaments and artificially
frayed jeans they wear? The sleepless nights you've stayed up angry that
they ignored your curfew orders? Or do you look beyond all that - are
you glad that they have a healthy body they CAN pierce, that there is
enough money for them to HAVE music, and that ignoring curfews means they
have an independent mind they CAN (for better or worse) use?
All of us have flaws. The funny thing is that, often times, it is those
very same flaws that make us unique and memorable. So, how about next
time, when you are about to say some version of "You ALWAYS do this
to me! Stop it!" to someone you care about, stop. Look at this person
and, instead, say, "you know, this thing drives me crazy, but if
you were no longer around, I would miss it because it is part of you just
as much as all the other great things I love about you. So, thank you
for being you. The good and the bad. I wouldn't have you any other way."
You never know. They just might accept your little flaws a bit more,
Happy accepting, sunshine and smiles,
"If you want to keep
your memories, you first have to live them."
is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
"The more credit you give
away, the more will come back to
you. The more you help others, the more they will want to